Muffins

Last year, we discovered I have celiac disease along with a bunch of food allergies. For the most part I've adapted and just move forward in life. I'm not one to dwell on what cannot be. Instead, I'll read everything I can get my hands on to really understand the situation and how to make it as ideal as possible. Once we discovered two of my children also have celiac disease, the ante was upped even more. I spend a good deal of my time trying new recipes and tweaking them to our needs/tastes. I've been very blessed by a merciful Father in Heaven, who knows my love of food, to be able to help my family move forward on this journey.

I've always had a serious weak spot for muffins though. And so far, I just haven't found a good homemade recipe. Honestly, I don't need muffins, and to heal my gut, I need to stay away from them. But last week when I came home from a meeting, my sweet hubby was just pulling some out of the oven. Oh the smell!!!!!!!!!!!! I looked around and processed the situation and quickly realized that these were not gluten free muffins.

I did my best to be cheerful. After all, it hadn't just been months since I had eaten any... it's been months for them as well. All my focus has been on GF food, and so the other 1/2 of my family has suffered in a different way; all of a sudden, the baker mom, who was obsessed with good desserts and dinners, wasn't making any of that anymore. So I was in no way upset or hurt that they were eating them. I was happy for them! I even felt bad that I hadn't made them any. But inside, it struck a chord. One of those slap-across-the-face-just-to-remind-you-of-what-you-can't-have-chords. It had nothing to do with them. It was just one of those days. I had just come from a meeting where numerous women were all enjoying muffins and brownies as a ploy to get them to come to the meeting in the first place. I was hungry. And it all looked good.

I didn't really feel sorry for myself. But it was a reality check. Just a harsh reminder that my life has changed for the rest of my life. Not just some diet I'm on. Nope. This is life.

My sweet husband, oh how I love that man! He read me like an open book, lovingly took me in his arms, and spent the next twenty minutes with me letting me know how much he loves me. He put all his focus into how I must feel, and that meant the world to me. It was a very tender twenty minutes, just to have someone love for and care about me that much, especially over muffins.

The next Sunday was Mother's Day. I was instructed to stay in bed. I can only eat a few things, so I fully expected either Rice Chex cereal, chicken and fruit, or a vegan protein shake from my sweet kiddos (which, btw, I would've been happy with any of them, because they were from my babies!). But I was surprised with much, much more! Kyle helped the kids (he had been at work that morning but got home earlier than expected) make sausage, hashbrowns, and GF muffins from a box mix I didn't realize we still had! Those muffins! An icon of love, of compassion, of meaning that much to someone that he would make me muffins. It may sound silly, but I'm crying as I write this. He KNEW how much it would mean to me AND he did it! (He does that all the time btw, but I've just been a little emotional lately with my thyroid being off again). I can't really put it into words. I guess it's just so incredible to be the one being loved and served the way I try to for everyone else. Because it is so much more than muffins.